Round and Round

My life moves forward in circles that loop to my past. It is the oddest thing and it is a wonder that my life DOES move forward. Cause something is always circling round to something that happened long ago, in my life.

Here's the one I noticed today.

The Wizard of Oz.

Once upon a time when I was a little girl I lived in McLean, Virginia. We lived there for 6 years while my dad worked in Washington, DC. The scent of freshly cut grass always reminds me of McLean. We used to play flashlight tag with the neighborhood kids in the evenings and the damp green grass clippings would stick to my bare legs as we ran around. We had a farm right behind us and I used to feed the cows the grass clippings when they poked their pink noses through our fence.

What does this have to do with the Wizard of OZ? Nothing, really.... It just came up when I was thinking of McLean.

OK, now back to the Wizard...

We had a playroom on the first level of our home. It had dolls, dollhouses, a child's kitchen and toys. I remember a large sunny window and a door that led to the driveway. My sister, brother and I spent hours in that playroom. In that room we also had a record player and lots of records. Little 45s and the bigger ones too. Our favorite thing to listen to was the Wizard of Oz. It was the sound track of the entire movie. Every line spoken, every song sung. We listened to it a lot while we played and I 'cooked' in my little pink kitchen.

One night my mom had set my sister and I up to actually watch the movie. It was on TV once a year and she thought we were old enough to watch it. I was six and Ali was 4. How wrong she was!! When it got to the part where the Wizard was yelling at Dorothy and her friends and there was fire around the wizard and the lion jumped out the window in fright...well Ali and I burst out crying, and that was the end of that, so mom gave us baby aspirin and put us to bed. LOL.

And so after that we were content to just listen to our record of the movie in the safety of our playroom, over and over, and over. I memorized it. I knew every line, every gasp, every sound effect. I was six and then seven and onto eight. It was engrained into my brain. Like learning to swim, dive(that was hard!), and rollerskate. And ride a bike. And braid my hair.

Fast forward to tonight. I was in the kitchen, making Sarah dinner and Sarah was in the living room watching the Wizard of Oz for the hundredth time and I was listening to it. I couldn't see it, just hear it. I knew every line, every gasp, every sound effect. Suddenly, I was right back to that little age of 6 in that sunny playroom, dressing my dolls, cooking, feeding my dolls and listening to that record.

So as I stood there, in my kitchen, having just dressed my daughter, getting ready to feed my daughter, listening to the Wizard, I realized I had come full circle around. Right back where I started 44 years ago. And, surprisingly, it is a very comfortable feeling. Like all is right in my world. It is as it should be. As it was designed to be, all along.

It is in a moment such as this, that my feeling that everything happens for a reason and that there is a grand design to it all, is confirmed. I am reminded to relax and let life happen. And trust in the bigger picture. Because there is one.

There are no such thing as coincidences :)

Here are a few pictures from that time:



I was 7 here. What you can't see in this picture is that I was wearing shiny ruby red maryjanes, just like Dorothy's Ruby Slippers... now that I think about it :)




This would be me, little brother Jimmy and younger sister Ali in our backyard.




And our puppy, a Collie named Nicky, Ali, Jimmy and myself

She's up and feelin' fine

All is well in Sarah land. I stopped the sinemet because I didn't see any positive changes with her dystonia after one month. I stopped the calcium/magnesium experiment because I didn't see any improvement in her constipation, so she is back to the Miralax twice a day. She had a small open area on her sacrum which is all healed up. She is doing good. She is happy and smiling almost all the time.

So what's next? Well, her weight is holding steady at 69.5 lbs and I am determined to get a couple more pounds on her and research the reason for her lagging appetite. I have started her on half-and-half, instead of milk. Yup. Glasses of the thick creamy stuff instead of milk. She's drinking it willingly so we shall see. Also, I have started her on prilosec for reflux. She was tested for reflux when she was 3 and it showed mild reflux. I am wondering if that could be the problem. So, as she sees the GI doctor in a month, I am giving her a trial of the prilosec until then so I can tell the doctor if it has made any difference. Fingers crossed.

And, since no post is any fun without a picture, here you go :

Happy Weekend!

On the road

Today we took to the road. I tried out my new camera and Sarah tried out sweets and snacks. We ended up in Ptown for dinner and enjoyed perusing the town before the summer crowds arrive. Most shops were open and it was breezy and cool.

As usual we took a seat in front of the town hall(which is under construction) to people-watch while soaking in some fudge.

This afternoon "Ellie" was singing on the sidewalk. Ellie is a transvestite performer in PTown. She has a great voice and it is enjoyed by all who are strolling by. She sings the oldies, like 'Moon River".






Today Sarah apparently decided she had listened enough and she was ready to be the backup singer. She let it rip. Singing loudly in her little way. Ellie took a glance her way and gave her a big smile and a wink. Sarah went on and on. And Ellie, god bless her, was great about it. Because Sarah can be quite loud (not to mention entirely out of tune!) when she gets going. Ellie was sweet and graceful, and kept on singing, along with my girl. My instinct was to wisk Sarah away or crawl under the nearest bench, but I sat proud and let her do her thing. While everyone listened. And it was fine. More than fine, actually.




And that's one of my favorite thing about Provincetown. Not only is it home to me, it is open to all. And everything goes and everyone is accepted.

So we fit right in.

And also, it's home.

Our day

There is loads and loads of laundry to do, a lawn that desperately needs cutting and a child that needs a bath. There are floors to sweep, rugs to vacume, surfaces to dust and a dinner to prepare. There are stuffed animals to pick up, books to put away, counters to wipe and a dishwasher to run.

And I am happy. I don't have to work today and we are staying home. All day. And maybe I will get everything done. Maybe not. I don't care. I am just enjoying the closing of the doors and living in our own little world for the day. Our day. To just be.

And, well...I can at least guarantee that the child will get the bath.

And so she rides :)

It was so nice to do something with Sarah that did not involve a doctor appointment! And the sun was shiny warm. So she rode outside, not in the ring. It was awesome to just mosey along, listen to the birds and the clip clop of Casey's hooves. After a while Sarah joined in with her own little song.






Somewhere towards the end of the lesson Casey got wind of the cashews in my pocket. They were there for me, in case I suddenly became famished and just could not make it back to the stables. You must know how taxing it is to walk alongside a lumbering equestrian! One must be prepared for a sudden dip in blood sugar. Ha!

So how did I know he had discovered my secret? Because suddenly he swung his head around to my jacket, his nostrils as big as he could stretch them and gave me a bump. Not a big bump, but more of a nose nuzzle, as if to say, "give 'em up mamma, I know they're there". LOL.

So after Sarah had been returned to her wheelchair, I put the rest of my precious snack in a bucket, plopped it on Sarah's lap and let him have a go at them.






And then I took Sarah out to lunch and let her have a go at some french fries!

It was a good day.

25 years!!

My first born child is 25. Twenty five. XXV. A quarter of a century. Halfway to 50. Which is what I am now. I feel old!

He's far away so I can't bake him a birthday cake, put 25 candles(+1) on it, watch him blow out the candles and wonder what wish he made. But that's OK. He's turning 25 anyway!! With or without me.

It does give me a chance to revisit a few pictures from when he was an itty bitty and it was all about us. Mamma and baby, mamma and little blonde boy. And pictures. Lots of photos. Always clicking, to record, to remember, to cherish.

Happy Birthday Jimmy ♥ We love you ♥

A new baby

Can you guess what it is?



Nope, not the cat.



Nope. This is the same ole Sarah.






Give up?




It's a new Digital SLR camera!!!!! What a gift. I am a very happy girl. It's awesome!!! I love photography and my favorite Minolta 35 mm film camera has never been replaced. Until now. With a Canon. Now I need a 50 mm prime lens :) and maybe a macro and then...well, a girl can dream!

Pretty things

Thoughts for the day

Question:

How many people does it take to get xrays of Sarah's hips and spine in the standing position?

Answer:

Every available technician on duty that day. Plus reinforcements.

Question:

How is it possible that they think I can lift Sarah by myself onto the xray table while I am strapped into a 25 pound lead apron?

Answer:

What is going on here?

Question:

Am I going to allow Sarah to be entirely naked for her xrays as was requested by the 2 male techs?

Answer:

GET ME A GOWN FOR HER!

Question:

What size brief do you think my little Sarah wears?

Answer: According to the large male tech: "This one will fit, it fits me."

Question:

Are we glad that's over?

Answer:

Is this a Children's Hospital?

Where are my pjs?

We are exhausted. What a day. I got Sarah tucked into bed at 9:30 pm and she promptly fell asleep within 5 minutes.
There are details but the quick answer is that we made it through the string of necessary xrays and the exam.
And it's all good news! Her scoliosis has improved and is now only at 13 degrees. Her kyphosis remains stable. Her hips are perfect. We don't need to see the ortho surgeon for a whole year. Yay!
There was a loooong discussion regarding hamstring lengthenings in the next year or two. It looks like he may be able to do it without general anesthesia, thus avoiding the inevitable ileus. This would be so exciting.
More discussions will take place in the future but there is hope!

I am tired and just want to grab the pjs and hit my soft bed, so I will leave you with a picture of Sarah's gloriously almost straight spine:

Another Dr appt

Tomorrow we had back to Children's Hospital Boston. This time to the ortho surgeon and to have spine and hip xrays. He will evaluate the status of her hips and the curve of her spine. I am hoping for 'no change' in both areas.
Our appointment is late in the day so as to avoid the rush hour traffic. The one good thing is it will be in the 80s tomorrow. Good weather always helps :)
My goal is to get Sarah into bed by 8:30 tomorrow night. It will be a hard day for her. The xray procedure is so difficult for her.

I feel much better now

Easter. John and Sarah. I'm back in the saddle again.