Sarah is NINE today. Nine!! And tomorrow she has her first day at school for orientation. Her first day in the school building. Wow. I am very happy for her. She is ready. It will only be an hour at a time for now. That's all she's up for. It only took nine years to get to this point and we are so fortunate to have teachers and a school system that are accomodating Sarah so well. It is the start of a new chapter for my girl. My big girl.
Today was her birthday and we took her to the Mall-her most favorite place. She had a great time both anticipating it and doing it. She had a new hairstyle with just a hairband to keep all that hair out of her face. She looked adorable. I bought her a new necklace and bracelet. Yesterday was her party-she liked opening her gifts and tolerated the chaos pretty well. She had pizza and cake.
I can't believe nine years have gone by. In one sense it seems that she was born just a few days ago and in another it seems like I have known her all my life. I do feel I have always known her. It started in sixth grade when a serious little blonde girl needed my help to learn to read-her name was Sarah-and that became my favorite name. There was a quiet dignity about that child I never forgot. During those early years whenever I was asked what I wanted to "be" when I grew up, my answer was always "a mother". I was born to be a mom. The time went by and I clearly had a medical interest. I read lots of books about kids with issues. My favorite was that book mentioned in an earlier post "Karen" about a child with Cerebral Palsy. I went into nursing and my mom said it was purely to care for other people's children until I could have my own. She was correct. I did have two wonderfully healthy strong intelligent boys. But I could not believe that I was destined to go through my life without a daughter. It just wasn't right. My mother remarked a few times times that I really should have been given a child with a disability as I was becomming more and more intrigued with the neighborhood kids that had various issues. My boys had no issues. I did lots of reading and was fascinated with what made them tick.
The day came, my daughter arrived. All 8 pounds, 8 ounces. A single mom, a surprise pregnancy at the ripe age of 37, and all MINE. My daughter. Wow. Sarah had made her appearance. Beautiful with not a hint of the challenges to come. When they did surface in the coming months and years I was ready. I could really care less. Sure, she had CP but so what. I already knew all about that. Sure it was a challenge to find out what made her tick, but so what. I already knew all about that. She's the best- bringing joy, laughter and sensitivity to my two sons. Rounding out our family in the most perfect of ways. And like the "Sarah" before her of my many years ago- there is a quiet dignity about this child that is not easily forgotten. In my experience, and I can only speak for myself, life is amazing, and there is nothing more fulfilling than being a mom. Of course I already knew that when I was little. I am lucky enough to be able to live my dream.
