Yesterday I met with the teaching consultant I have for Sarah. She has been with us since Sarah was four years old. At the age of 4 Sarah learned the same way a child with autism did and this teacher (Mrs. A) is an autism specialist. Anyhoo, over the years, Sarah's learning style became more typical of the average child, less and less of the autistic style. However, she still has autistic features in some of her mannerisms and sensitivities. She was never given the diagnosis of autism. She didn't totally 'fit'. It is with these remaining issues that Mrs. A shines. So, I presented her with Sarah's latest difficulties. Her trouble with going places and transitioning. Her confusion. All these new developments that are hard for me to make sense of.
The conclusion is that Sarah has had a cognitive 'gain' which is obvious in her academic work and her awareness of what's going on around her. She also now suddenly has more of a sense of who she is and what she wants. All this new 'knowledge' is a bit overwhelming for her and she is having trouble handling it. This presents as outbursts, reluctance to leave the house and irritability.
So the big plan is....let her regroup. Back off on most outside activities. Try a bit here and there but just let her be. Let some time go by. Present fun activities in the house. Interrupt the pattern. Allow her to relax and get her bearings. Do not push her. She is communicating to us that she needs a break. She has to process all her new information.
Sarah has needed breaks before when she was younger. At the age of two I pulled her out of all therapies, early intervention, schooling--against everyone's advice. She was too defensive, too fearful, too closed up. She felt bombarded by other's expectations. I was losing her inside herself. For the next two years I had her stay home with me. We did errands, took stroller rides, she ate and slept. She relaxed. She became more interactive on her time. Not the school's time, not the therapists' time, not any teacher's time. On her time. She slowly peeked out of her protective shell.
Mrs. A entered our lives at that point, when Sarah was four. I had approached the school system to see what they had to offer Sarah and if I would even be interested in it. They offered Mrs. A and we were on our way. Sarah has always been schooled at home. It works best for her. Quiet, organized, predictable and her bed is always available for naps! With Mrs. A's guidance Sarah has been allowed to learn at her pace, learned to cope at her own pace. It has been a gentle and stable schooling for Sarah. 'Behaviors' have been few and far between as Sarah's education and daily life has always been designed just for her.
So you can imagine, I was eager to talk to Mrs. A and find a solution to Sarah's frustration, irritability. As usual, she nailed it right on the head. It makes perfect sense. I am to back off on the outings. Let her relax, process her new level of understanding and in a month or two try a couple of outings and see how she responds. As Mrs. A explains, "Sarah sometimes requires a break and when she is ready she will move forward, be comfortable on the next level and shine. We have to allow her the time".
So the bottom line is I now have to order my groceries from Peapod for home delivery from stop and shop. No more grocery shopping for us :)
