A Surprising Sarah

Today was 'dentist day' for Sarah. She goes every 6 months like everyone else. I started taking her when she was a young, young toddler because it was clear that her teeth were going to be large, white and sparkly, and one of the first things you noticed when you looked at her.(Once you got past the abundant golden banana curls, deep dimples and large round blue eyes of course!) So I took her to my dentist. And she has continued to see them for the last decade. They are just a regular dentist. No special pediatric stuff. No bells, whistles, toys, fruity smelling gloves or tvs on the ceilings. Just the basic dentist. But, they have been great with Sarah. Very patient and gentle. I don't know how many special needs kids they see, but I am guessing, not many. Most seem to go into Boston for their dental care. It can be very hard to give these kids a thorough cleaning. It can be hard for them to open their mouth, keep it open, not bite, not gag, tolerate the sounds of the tools, the lights of the office, the strange smells, the tilt of the chair, the stranger in their mouths....
Sarah is really coming along in this department. Today, for the first time, she put her head back when asked, opened her mouth when asked, kept it open as best she could and I couldn't have been prouder. We have been taking baby steps every previous visit, allowing extra time, and using tricks like counting to increase her tolerance. She was fabulous today. No tricks required. We were in and out in 20 minutes. No cavities today(or ever). Good strong teeth.
I am aware the orthodontist will be another kettle of fish, but we will work with her when the time comes.
So here comes the really interesting part of the day....First a little background. Day in and day out, Sarah pretty much goes along with me on whatever errand I am doing. She is generally happy doing whatever we are doing. Sometimes she doesnt want to go IN a store I pull up to, but for the most part she is laid back and flexible. I tell her we are going here, there or home and all is well.

NOT TODAY!!!


Today, after the dentist, I told her we were going home and pulled into the driveway. I looked back at her and her lips were pouting, like she might cry. So I pulled out her yes/no flashcards and proceeded to ask her questions to try and understand what the problem was.(she touches the word yes or no for the answer)

So I began:

Do you want to take a nap? NO
Do you want to be home? NO
Do you want to stay out in the car? YES
Do you want to go on the highway? YES
Do you want to go to the mall? NO
Do you want to go to the store? NO
Do you want to go to school? NO
Do you want to go horseback riding? NO
Do you want to get something to eat? YES
Do you want to go to a restaurant? YES
Are you hungry? YES
Do you want frenchfries? YES

Sarah wanted to go out for lunch!! And she initiated it!! And she communicated it to me!! It was her idea. Not mine. For a moment I was the one who was speechless. And then I put the car in reverse.
I backed out of the driveway and we went out for lunch. Me and my daughter. And Sarah was happy. And I was thrilled. And proud that she chose to communicate exactly what SHE wanted to do, hoping that I would get it. She was so patient with me while I struggled to understand her. She was purposeful, deliberate and unwavering. And she remained calm. No tantrums for her! No crying, just communication. It feels good. We are doing good.